That's a Croc of ...

It's been a long time since my last post. Mostly because there hasn't been anything too exciting to report, other than the usual daily grind. Today is my day to vent.

I may face stoning for my position on the foam shoes that I still see people sporting this spring. Never in my wildest dreams did I think Crocs would survive more than one season. Surely, I thought, they can only be a fad. Yet here they are once again, being proudly sported by many moms and their kids. Let me tell you where the line must be drawn - men should not even consider putting those things on their feet. Whenever I spot a man wearing Crocs, it's obvious there's a woman dressing him.

Just imagine the conversation:

She says, "Hey honey, I have a surprise for you." (All women know you must use a term of endearment when you want something.)

Of course being a man, he's already hit the fast-forward button and started thinking of tonight's activities. Or maybe he's a little more conservative, and is just thinking she's made some yummy dessert. Either way, he has to play it safe. So he simply responds, "I've no idea."

That's when she unleashes the sales pitch. You know, the statement that always precedes the introduction of something that may not be embraced by the significant other. She tells him about these fabulous shoes with such enthusiasm. Oh, how comfortable they are! And so easy to slip on when you need to run outside, and "you know how handy that would be!" Blah, blah, blah... Oh, and here's the bonus: she found them in a manly camo print!

The next thing you know, I see the poor guy in the WalMart check out line with a box of tampons and a bag of rice. "Mr. I Wear Camo Crocs" in public, please turn in your man card, you obviously did not deserve it in the first place.

So this poor guy was responsible for the reawakening of my hatred of Crocs. As if that weren't enough, I spot a a mother and daughter in the parking lot, each sporting a pair. The mother had a utilitarian brown pair, and the daughter had hot pink ones with accessories dangling from them. Okay, even the people who actually wear Crocs say they're ugly. So why try to dress them up with jewelry?

My confession for the day: In a temporary moment of insanity, I actually tried on a pair while in a Hallmark store. You can always count on Hallmark stores to carry the latest fads. There weren't many people around, so I quickly slipped them on. You know, just to see what all the fuss was about. And to my surprise, they are UNCOMFORTABLE! Somebody please tell me why people wear these things. Don't try to convince me otherwise, some fashions just need to die.

I'm having 80s flashbacks. Remember jelly shoes?