Camping and a Father's Love

To my Dad, whom I love dearly, and thank with my whole heart for loving me for just being me. You are the GREATEST - and Happy Father's Day!

25 or so years ago, Dad and I would take camping trips of various types. My favorite trips would start out with Mom dropping us off, with the canoe, on the Blackwater River. When I say we went camping, it was none of this air mattress, bathrooms, showers, and other conveniences kind of camping trip. When we went canoeing and camping, we only took the bare essentials: 2 black trash bags packed with sleeping bags, and another bag with hot dogs, buns, some bacon, and coffee. How many times did we eat hot dogs with soggy buns and bacon that was burned to a crisp? And just how many times did the canoe flip over? Dad, even though you don't go canoeing anymore, you may get a dry bag for Father's day.

Dad, this is how you cook bacon on a campfire. Notice, it isn't black. :-)

For those of you who haven't been on the parts of the Blackwater River that resemble a creek, let me assure you, there are plenty of places that you actually have to drag the canoe because the water is so shallow. I'm sure my dad didn't find this a pleasurable experience, and I can remember one trip in particular where the bottom fell off of one of his shoes, so he tore a piece off one of the sacred trash bag "dry bags" to hold it together. I was thinking, "Why doesn't he just get another pair of shoes?" Who knows why, but I do know that he still has a pair of classic 1984 Nike swoosh jogging shoes that are worn so smooth on the bottom I call them his "racing slicks". Regardless of his shoes falling to pieces, we always managed to have a great time.

Our river float usually left us camping in the Devil's Den, sans tent. The name conjures up all sorts of scary thoughts in a kid's mind. Like I said, it's been 25 years since I've been there, but the cave on the side of the river seemed huge to me at 10 years old. No, not just huge - huge and scary! I mean, the name alone makes you think that the devil will be there waiting for you when you arrive. Fortunately for me, the devil was never made an appearance, but I sure watched the campfire dancing on the stone walls until I couldn't hold my eyes open any longer. I'm sure Dad always wondered why I insisted on a big fire, I guess I figured that if a fire could keep wild animals away, surely it would work for the Devil too. Now that I'm older, I suppose a fire to the devil would have been like the brier patch is to Brer Rabbit, and I would have been in real trouble had he ever made an appearance. Dad camped there when he was a little boy, and it makes me sad to think that my kids will never experience going to sleep wondering if they'll wake up looking the old devil in the eye.

Even though they may not get to have the same experiences I did, they will still get to go camping, but it will be Shannon's style of camping. This Father's Day weekend marks our first family camping trip. Shannon is an outdoors guy, but he's a man who prefers to have some comforts of home. The first time I went camping with him was on a river trip where I discovered that he packed an air mattress so he could sleep better. I couldn't believe it, an air mattress! Wasn't that some type of camping faux pas? That was also the first river trip I had been on where I didn't eat soggy hot dogs, but manicotti for dinner and a delicious casserole for breakfast (thanks to Chad and Alison, who are the true gourmet campers). Once you make the transition to his type of camping, you start to get soft, and the next thing you know, you're looking for a place to charge your laptop so you can blog.

That's right, we're camping, and I'm blogging. And I can imagine my dad is rolling his eyes right about now, but my main concern is which direction I need to move in order to pick up on the open "Z LAKE HOUSE" signal that is near the camp spot. If we had Wi-Fi here, I would want to come camping every weekend!

So our camping trip started out with a flurry of throwing things together, a quick trip to the local Wally World, and a trip to the brother-in-law's house to borrow his big tent. Camping when I was little was preceded by miles of hiking up Grassy Hill, or by several hours of floating the river, not by driving 20 minutes to a flat campsite that is already cleared. As if that wasn't easy enough, there's a fire pit already built and plenty of easy access wood for fuel. That sounds nice and easy, except for the fact that it wasn't quite easy enough for Shannon. I didn't question it when he asked me if I had any "fire starter" when we left the house, I just said "no", thinking that we would gather leaves and twigs like normal people would. Not my husband, not in a million years, not when you have mineral spirits at your disposal. Yes, mineral spirits. I questioned how combustible it was - "is this a gasoline, or kerosene type of starter"? Needless to say, I wasn't comforted by his answer that he didn't know. For those Redneck Engineers out there, mineral spirits will start a fire without an explosion or the loss of body hair.

The Redneck Engineer

Okay, so that may be no big deal to some of you. How about when I see my husband's eyes light up because he "has an idea" that would be fun for the kids? Fun for the kids? I'm thinking they're going to pick up sticks for the fire, or maybe play in the lake. Nope, not my husband. Now I see that he's carrying a log that he places on a stump. I'm still stuck in safe creative play mode, thinking the kids may pretend that they're going to ride a horse or something else silly. Good grief, I must have lost my mind, this is my husband we're talking about. While announcing he was the former blue ribbon knife and tomahawk thrower, he proceeds to start teaching our 4 year old son how to throw a camping axe at his target. All I could think about was how I was going to explain my little man showing up in the emergency room needing stitches. Lucky for me, it was a quick game, and there was no time for any blood to be shed. It may have had something to do with my chanting, "be careful, that's just not safe, you shouldn't be letting him play with that" over and over.

The future blue ribbon winner?

After two potential disasters, we let the kids play in the lake (little danger there), we cooked hot dogs (okay, so a couple rolled in the fire and were rinsed with fresh water, then reheated), and then we went to my favorite part of camping - the making of S'MORES. Dad never introduced me to this delicious treat on our camping trips, but I can guarantee they're a big part of everyone I take the kids on. You may not be aware of it, but there's a special technique to make the perfect s'mores. I prefer my chocolate slightly melted, and on a hot day, that's easy since you're really struggling to keep the chocolate from doing just that. In the fall though, I place a piece of chocolate on the bottom graham cracker beside the fire to get it on its way to gooey goodness. And while we're on the subject of chocolate, not just any chocolate will do for me, it has to be dark rich chocolate to bring out the flavor of the marshmallow and graham cracker. However, the preparation of the marshmallow is the real key to the perfect s'more, it has to be perfectly melted and hot enough to continue the melting of the chocolate. There are those of you who may prefer to create mini-torches, and that was how I roasted marshmallows until I had one of my flaming masterpieces land on my wrist, leaving a scar that is still visible today (another one of those camping trips with my dad, and he insisted that it wasn't blood on my wrist - good thing it was dark). Now I prefer a slow, long toasting that leaves the outside golden brown, and the middle completely gooey. When you place that on the piece of slightly melted dark chocolate, and sandwich it with the last piece of graham cracker, you may as well say it's close to heaven on earth. That's yummy goodness.

The ingredients

My perfected toasting technique.

Court prefers a little char.

Perfection.

A happy little boy, messy, but very happy.

So here I sit while the kids are fishing, bathing in the smoke from the campfire with a full belly, and watching the sun set behind the trees while listening to the water lap up on the shore. Could camping get any better than this? Hmmm...if I could just just figure out where "Z LAKE HOUSE" is located, I would think I had reached camping heaven.

***UPDATE*** I just had a camper walk by me and ask if I'm doing homework! I have to admit, I smiled and said "yes". That just feels good!

Click here to see the photos from our trip.

Look Ma, No Hands! A Bike Riding Adventure.

The news of the weekend is that Court finally learned how to ride her bike. I've met with much resistance when I tried to convince her to ride in past. This is one of the few times I've allowed her to win a battle, mostly because I remember the awful crashes that I experienced when trying to learn to balance and ride as a kid. Of course my failed bike riding attempts resulted in several nasty falls, one of which left me and a friend in her bathroom trying to superglue my broken tooth.

Just like Court, when I decided it was time to ride, my dad held the back of my Pink Panther banana-seat bike until he thought I was steady, and he would secretly let go. Every time I looked back I would crash into the door to our basement, but he never lost patience with me, we would back up and start over again.

I eventually learned how to ride very well, and I would spend hours circling the driveway, dreaming that I was competing in the Tour de France. My skills eventually improved to the point that my brother was allowed to ride with me. I think MoJo liked riding with me because he was the little daredevil of the family, and riding with me was, well...just risky.

MoJo and I cruising on "The Pink Panther"

Not that my parents were overly protective, mind you. When you grow up on a farm, there are hundreds of dangers that you're oblivious to, until you have your own children. I can remember riding on the toolbox of the tractor. No, there's only limited danger in riding on an unenclosed tractor while discing a field or cutting corn, but when I think of all the times I slept on the tractor while holding the metal grab-bar beside me - now that's scary. The good news is I survived it all, and I was always rewarded with a chocolate milk or some candy from Kingery's store at the end of the day. (Thanks Daddy, for the countless songs you sang and taking me with you. I loved every minute.)

Okay, so watching Court transform from barely keeping her balance to whizzing through the parking lot made me feel a little poetic. I'm not sure why, or how this haiku popped into my head, but it suddenly came into my thoughts and there was no shaking it. So here it is, in all of its glory:

She bikes rather fast
legs pistoning up and down,
one crash not the last.

I've promised Court that our first road trip will be to the library that is less than a mile from our house. There is very little traffic, and it's a flat ride so it should be nice and safe. Well, safe compared to riding farm equipment.

A Selective Eater Converted by Science, AKA the Stinky Pee Story

My daughter certainly inherited my picky eating habits, but I've discovered the sure way to make her try something new. It's as simple as turning it into a science experiment. Well, it has to be a little more than a science experiment, there has to be a certain level of "grossness" associated with the consumption of any new vegetable.

Spring was a big deal for me this year because it is the first year I've harvested the organic asparagus I planted almost 4 years ago. For those of you who don't know, it takes a few years before you can enjoy the fruits of your labor (and some of you insist I have no patience). I could have broken off some spears last year, but my husband mowed them down when he thought they were a particularly aggressive weed sprouting in the backyard. Although the harvest was delayed another year, it was certainly worth the wait. These are the sprouts from one of the crowns before they made it to the table.


But I digress...

This story isn't about the patience required to grow asparagus, but about the unique odor produced by the urine of about half those who eat the yummy vegetable. And that brings me back to my daughter, the picky eater, who will eat anything if I promise the chance that a foul odor might result. When you factor in that "hypothesis" is her new favorite word, we had a ready-made science experiment waiting to happen. Court predicted that "her pee would smell terrible because mom's does when she eats asparagus, and if 50% of people are affected with "stinky pee" then certainly her chances were improved greatly."

I know you're dying to know the results, right? After 3 spears of asparagus, Court did produce the "stinky pee" she expected. The snickering on the other side of the bathroom door told me the answer long before the announced, "EEEEEEEWWWWW!!!!!!!!" at the top of her lungs.

I didn't have the heart to break it to her that there are conflicting studies that say we are all "excretors" of the by-products of the breakdown of asparagusic acid, therefore we all produce "stinky pee" and that the defining characteristic may be that only some of us are "perceivers" who can smell the odor. If she knew this, surely Court would have requested a controlled study comprised of all the members of our family. Sounds like the perfect excuse to expand the asparagus patch this fall!

In the Words of Willie: On the Road Again

After 10 years of driving over 3 hours a day, 5 days a week, it occurred to me that the car is my secret place. My conservative estimate is that I've spent 6240 hours, or 260 days, in the car on the the way to and from work or customers. And believe me, when I say that is a conservative estimate, I'm not counting the last 8 months that I've commuted to Raleigh and I only factored 4 days of work per week, and no personal driving. I have one friend who says I should have wheels under my feet, and there are times when I should.

How many times have I explained to people that I have a one-way commute 1.5 hours from sleepy little SW Virginia to Greensboro? I'm always met with a look of shock and disbelief, often I'm peppered with questions - "Why?" and "How can you STAND it?" To answer those questions, I have to start from the beginning.

As a child growing up in SW Virginia, my source of excitement was a trip to Roanoke on the weekend. If I was really lucky, my mom and grandmother would take us out to eat at K&W. That's right, think blue hair and walkers, think cafeteria food, and the prune faced ladies asking, "Help you?" in their scratchy smoker voices.

Nannie had a Big Bird yellow 1978 Toyota Corolla that took us there and back with two bottles of hot Pepsi (Nannie always preferred her Pepsi hot and flat) and sweaty legs sticking to the vinyl seats. Those Roanoke trips often included a doctor visit for Pop or Nannie, and if I was good we would stop at K-Mart and I would ride the horses out front and get to pick out a toy. I can still remember riding with the windows down, and the little car humming along at no more than 55mph because it wasn't capable of doing more. That car is still keeping the roads hot after no less than three accidents, all of which involved another car hitting "old yeller." How can you hit a yellow car? How could you not see a yellow car?



Mom finally let go of Nannie's prized car, and sold it to a guy she works with, who promptly cleaned it and put new wheels and tires on her. It's a real sight to see that car still making memories for another family.

So that was how it started, it was in my blood, the love of road trips and the need to see things outside of my little hometown. When it was time to go to college, I wanted a place that was far enough away that I could come home when I wanted, but just far enough that mom and dad wouldn't feel the need to visit. I settled on Greensboro College, which allowed freshmen to have a car on campus. Oh JOY! My first car!

After a lot of searching, my dad wanted me to get a 1989 Pontiac Grand Am, but I wouldn't hear of it because it was an automatic, and I had to have a 5 speed. Guys dig chicks who drive 5 speeds - right? I spotted a blue 1988 Honda Accord that was just what I wanted, well almost what I wanted because it didn't have air conditioning, but I was willing to overlook that. After a lot of convincing by the salesperson that a Honda "would give good service", dad gave in and it was waiting in the driveway when I came home from college orientation. There was only one little, itsy, bitsy problem...I couldn't drive a manual transmission...yet.

And thus began my driving adventures: I went backwards and forwards in the driveway until I was comfortable with the clutch, then through town as I practiced starting on various hills, discovering that I could make it home from my friend Tim's house in less than 10 minutes if I pushed it through all of the turns over 919, that a 88 Accord can do 124mph when it's held wide open, and that wreckless-driving tickets suck.

Some things haven't changed - I still drive a manual transmission, the Honda Accord became an Acura TL, I still like to drive fast, and I still get speeding tickets. The difference is that my driving now serves more of a purpose than getting me from point A to B. Being on the road is my therapy, my alone time, where I sort out my thoughts and make all of my life decisions. Why do I choose to spend 3 hours a day in the car? The answer is simple - it's my outlet and I love it because I can walk through the day's events, enjoy precious memories, and daydream about the future.

Over the last 3 months, I've realized that I'm missing a part of the equation. What good is a thought, memory, or dream if it isn't shared? So somewhere between work and family, I'm going to share the thoughts that come to me in the car. You can expect to read almost anything, from books and music, to random thoughts, and possibly me ranting about other drivers.

Driving Pet Peeve #1: If that's you riding in the "hammer lane", as my dad calls it...get out of the way when you see a car is faster than you.